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higure
Ueda was eating lunch alone? Again? Again!!!! Ryo came in looking for Jin AGAIN!!!
I mean no harm, I just needed to get that out!
I just found out that if the weather is good tomorrow I will be babysitting my brother, all day long … somehow I wish it would rain. I´ll cook, I´ll clean, I´ll do laundry and iron stuff, but I had plans to go get my external hard disk and maybe go out for a coffee in the afternoon and I suck at making my brother do other stuff than watch TV or play videogames for more than an hour. I know I am mean and selfish sister right now.
I went to the dentist again. I thought it would be the end of my autumn dentist adventures but no. I have to go one more time. I got root filling today and I am getting a crown to top it all off in three weeks. I was completely pain-free for exactly 4 days. Today he dug deep and did his trick and said it might be sensitive for two o three days. Hell yeah it is sensitive, it hurts so much I can´t chew again. The painkillers are ineffective, surprise, surprise. Not that´s what I call sensitive!
Yesterday I had a “deep talk” with my parents. First with my mom, then with my dad. They were practically identical – the main topic was my future, me looking for a job. Just that dad doesn´t know much about how legal professions work and my mom, although knowing a little more, still thinks it would be “easiest” for me to become a judge or public prosecutor(it is not!). Summary in bullet points:
I might seem too spoiled to people who read this, or I might look like I only look for excuses. It is not so, I fight had to get a job, I just need to let all of my worries and obstacles out so I can fight them properly. The situation in Czech Republic and Slovakia is quite specific. With a boom of private schools and with the public ones being financed based on number of students they have, law schools spit out too many new graduates every year. What was once a desired and sought out education as well as not so common one, is now as ordinary as any other. There was a demand for lawyers in the past, now the market is saturated, glutted even. The competition is high. While I do believe I can beat some of it, it still is pretty tuff to do so and it is a long process throughout which you get rejected hundreds of times before you get accepted. I am realistic, I am in contact with my friends who all graduated this year (I didn´t because I studied abroad for a year). I know how hard it is to get a job if you do not have “connections” or a lawyer in the family. And these were all brilliant students, with quick and analytic minds, smart people. I sometimes wonder what do people who barely scraped through the school and sometimes lack the basic knowledge do. I am not desperate and it might not be as pessimistic as it looks but my parents are demanding in a way. I am too, I might seem to have too high requirements but I really don´t. I don´t expect a good pay, easy job, nice stable working hours, benefits … I just would like to at least try to do what I like. I´ve been working for it for over 5 years now. So if you see me whining about not finding a job, about another failure, rejection, bad interview, please bear with me. I will do my best to not disappoint my parents and not to betray myself in the process too much.
Frankly I am scared to death. My life has been too smooth until now (see I am spoiled), no problem with getting into high school, college, study abroad program, I always knew what comes next (more or less), now for the first time, even though I am as focused as ever, I don´t know what lies ahead. There seems to be one big black hole waiting for me somewhere in January really.
And now, the main reason I am posting today. I am writing this fic right now … It surprises me in many aspects. First of all, it is AU. I almost never read them and I have written one and only AU ever and only because I got asked for it. Secondly it is a band fic, which might be a mistake, because there are things I just have no idea about when it comes to music. Third of all, it is kind of getting long. I thought it would have around 3500 words but now …
I have no idea if I ever post this. I feel that by getting longer it is getting more boring, that it is moving slowly. I had few emotions in mind when I started but I can´t somehow find them there. Also I bet there is loads of band AU fanfics out there. It looks like I am just parroting after … I don´t know who, I don´t know why I care. I wanted to write this! I took some liberties with characters, I used some fandom canon, cliché, happening as well. When I look at it I wonder if I want to put it out there, I am afraid that it will be “hated on”. I don´t mind constructive criticism but I saw some really nasty comments on a fic few days ago. If someone did that to my fic, I would be really sad. I love my small insignificant scribbles. They all carry a part of me.
After a really long time I am writing the story in past tense. I obviously got rusty. I am jumping around in time a lot and am completely unsure when it comes to tenses. I want them right!!! So I was going to ask you, if someone would be willing to beta this fic of mine. It should be done tomorrow or on Sunday, but it will be long so … Anyone having too much of a free time? I would appreciate it. The grammar tips are useless I am helplessly drowning in my own confusion. I don´t usually ask for beta, I try to catch the mistakes by myself, that way I am learning more, but this time I think it would be really great to have one. If I do this myself, it will be one heck of an adventure to fix this! ROFL it almost makes me want to torture myself with it a little more.
Part of me still might be five years old (not that I mind). I find it very amusing that Yamapi´s concert logo reads “Short but Sweet”. And I know I completely ignored Ryo´s birthday, Arashi´s “real” anniversary and so on. I got a bit busy. I hope all of them enjoyed their “big days”.
Have a good weekend!!!
I mean no harm, I just needed to get that out!
I just found out that if the weather is good tomorrow I will be babysitting my brother, all day long … somehow I wish it would rain. I´ll cook, I´ll clean, I´ll do laundry and iron stuff, but I had plans to go get my external hard disk and maybe go out for a coffee in the afternoon and I suck at making my brother do other stuff than watch TV or play videogames for more than an hour. I know I am mean and selfish sister right now.
I went to the dentist again. I thought it would be the end of my autumn dentist adventures but no. I have to go one more time. I got root filling today and I am getting a crown to top it all off in three weeks. I was completely pain-free for exactly 4 days. Today he dug deep and did his trick and said it might be sensitive for two o three days. Hell yeah it is sensitive, it hurts so much I can´t chew again. The painkillers are ineffective, surprise, surprise. Not that´s what I call sensitive!
Yesterday I had a “deep talk” with my parents. First with my mom, then with my dad. They were practically identical – the main topic was my future, me looking for a job. Just that dad doesn´t know much about how legal professions work and my mom, although knowing a little more, still thinks it would be “easiest” for me to become a judge or public prosecutor(it is not!). Summary in bullet points:
- You need to start looking for a job (I am on it for the past month!)
- There is a Peugeot in Trnava and you speak French (Oh I know, but they don´t have a legal department here, if they have any, it is in Bratislava and it is “sekrit” I know only because we had French tenant for a while who told me there is a commercial department there. Not even an email address for applying to other jobs than car technicians is available)
- What exactly it is you want to do? (Private Law, not Public law, not even EU law!!! Yes EU law is more public than private)
- Why don´t you go to Brussels? (I don´t speak Flemish, again EU is public law, internships in EU are not paid, I have no money and you need to take care of two other kids you have and I know it, lawyer posts are for senior lawyers with loads of experience, I won´t do administrative work, I didn´t sweat over law books for 5 years to write reports about EU officials having a lunch together)
- Go to another state (this is my dad only, my mom wants me back home, and I won´t go to the whole complex problem of this, because it would take an essay of several pages to explain, the migration of lawyers is pretty complicated, but think about it, attorney who practices in one US state, is a member of a bar there, can not practice law in another US state, and technically US has some common legal frame)
- What do you want to do (LAW!!! I like law, I don´t want to do things unrelated to law)
- There is a financial crisis going on! Despite politicians saying it is slowly over, it is not and will get worse in a way because this year companies still had investments from last year, but this year no new projects were started, no investments were made …(I KNOW? I KNOW, YOU KEEP TELLING ME AND I LISTEN TO YOU AND I KNOW BECAUSE I AM LOOKING FOR A JOB AND CAN´T FIND ANY AND I KNOW!!! I LIVE WITH MY EYES OPEN)
- The whole situation with Masters, internships, scholarships, LLM programs, PhD., JUDr., bar examinations, requirements for other legal jobs, they just have a mess out of those things)
- So how is this going to go down? (If I knew I´d be the happiest person ever!!!)
I might seem too spoiled to people who read this, or I might look like I only look for excuses. It is not so, I fight had to get a job, I just need to let all of my worries and obstacles out so I can fight them properly. The situation in Czech Republic and Slovakia is quite specific. With a boom of private schools and with the public ones being financed based on number of students they have, law schools spit out too many new graduates every year. What was once a desired and sought out education as well as not so common one, is now as ordinary as any other. There was a demand for lawyers in the past, now the market is saturated, glutted even. The competition is high. While I do believe I can beat some of it, it still is pretty tuff to do so and it is a long process throughout which you get rejected hundreds of times before you get accepted. I am realistic, I am in contact with my friends who all graduated this year (I didn´t because I studied abroad for a year). I know how hard it is to get a job if you do not have “connections” or a lawyer in the family. And these were all brilliant students, with quick and analytic minds, smart people. I sometimes wonder what do people who barely scraped through the school and sometimes lack the basic knowledge do. I am not desperate and it might not be as pessimistic as it looks but my parents are demanding in a way. I am too, I might seem to have too high requirements but I really don´t. I don´t expect a good pay, easy job, nice stable working hours, benefits … I just would like to at least try to do what I like. I´ve been working for it for over 5 years now. So if you see me whining about not finding a job, about another failure, rejection, bad interview, please bear with me. I will do my best to not disappoint my parents and not to betray myself in the process too much.
Frankly I am scared to death. My life has been too smooth until now (see I am spoiled), no problem with getting into high school, college, study abroad program, I always knew what comes next (more or less), now for the first time, even though I am as focused as ever, I don´t know what lies ahead. There seems to be one big black hole waiting for me somewhere in January really.
And now, the main reason I am posting today. I am writing this fic right now … It surprises me in many aspects. First of all, it is AU. I almost never read them and I have written one and only AU ever and only because I got asked for it. Secondly it is a band fic, which might be a mistake, because there are things I just have no idea about when it comes to music. Third of all, it is kind of getting long. I thought it would have around 3500 words but now …
I have no idea if I ever post this. I feel that by getting longer it is getting more boring, that it is moving slowly. I had few emotions in mind when I started but I can´t somehow find them there. Also I bet there is loads of band AU fanfics out there. It looks like I am just parroting after … I don´t know who, I don´t know why I care. I wanted to write this! I took some liberties with characters, I used some fandom canon, cliché, happening as well. When I look at it I wonder if I want to put it out there, I am afraid that it will be “hated on”. I don´t mind constructive criticism but I saw some really nasty comments on a fic few days ago. If someone did that to my fic, I would be really sad. I love my small insignificant scribbles. They all carry a part of me.
After a really long time I am writing the story in past tense. I obviously got rusty. I am jumping around in time a lot and am completely unsure when it comes to tenses. I want them right!!! So I was going to ask you, if someone would be willing to beta this fic of mine. It should be done tomorrow or on Sunday, but it will be long so … Anyone having too much of a free time? I would appreciate it. The grammar tips are useless I am helplessly drowning in my own confusion. I don´t usually ask for beta, I try to catch the mistakes by myself, that way I am learning more, but this time I think it would be really great to have one. If I do this myself, it will be one heck of an adventure to fix this! ROFL it almost makes me want to torture myself with it a little more.
Part of me still might be five years old (not that I mind). I find it very amusing that Yamapi´s concert logo reads “Short but Sweet”. And I know I completely ignored Ryo´s birthday, Arashi´s “real” anniversary and so on. I got a bit busy. I hope all of them enjoyed their “big days”.
Have a good weekend!!!
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no subject
Date: 2009-11-07 12:11 am (UTC)sorry I skipped the dentist thing...
So, you're now whining for nothing honey; if most you're whining like you should, at your age, about your future! Totally normal!
I understand what your parents say but yeah they demand too much when you're already stressing about it you too.
Plus you're being mature about it, so yah, fight for you and tell them to peace a little.
I know now a little what you wanna do, I hope you will get through it. I understand about the crisis, plus maybe in some part of the world it's more difficult to have some jobs, but you can do it somewhere else. Though like for the USA like you said, it'd be tougher since you'd have to learn other countries laws...
Maa gambatte! Don't worry about whining, you're talking a a whining professional here!
And about the writing, I'm sorry I won't have much time so can't help you, but I would like you pointing me the commentd that were nasty, I want to see for myself how people can do that
no subject
Date: 2009-11-07 01:50 am (UTC)I hope the work trouble will turn out to be smaller than I think ...
About the fic, I didn´t keep a link and I don´t remember how I got there :( It was an older fic, I was roaming around some journal, it was ryoshige though ... sorry about not being able to link you!
And lol I am glad you don´t mind my whining!